Consider a situation: You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her,
you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the
edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change
your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish
breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your wife must leave
immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 80 km an hour in a 60 kmph speed limit. After a
15 minute delay and paying a $60 traffic fine, you arrived at school. Your
daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
After arriving at
the office 30 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has
started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look
forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your
relationship with your wife and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in
the morning.
Why did you have a
bad day?
A) Did the coffee
cause it?
B) Did your
daughter cause it?
C) Did the traffic
policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause
it?
The answer is D.
You had no control
over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what
caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee
splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK
honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you
rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back
down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She
turns and waves. You and your wife kiss before you both go to work. You arrive
5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good
a day you are having. Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both
started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You
really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is
determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways
to apply the 90/10 secret:
If someone says
something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like
water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! Respond
properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing
a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
-- Author Unknown
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